


Could have gone better, could have gone worse

by Marium



Series: Regan week [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: A little bit of fluff, Domestic, Gen, I don't know if this quite qualifies as angst?, M/M, bad first meeting, meet the stepkids, well the stepkid because Negan already knew Carl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 11:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11599410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marium/pseuds/Marium
Summary: Negan had a precious picture in his head about what would happen when he met his boyfriend’s adorable little daughter. Turns out he had underestimated the power of a child’s temper.Regan week, day 3 - Family





	Could have gone better, could have gone worse

“No! No! I don’t wanna! No!”

Negan watched in dismay as the soon-to-be six years old girl threw a hell of a tantrum in the living room. Her small size made the sheer strength of the fuss she was making all the more impressive; her words left a ringing echo in his ears, but to be fair that was probably more about what she was saying rather than her lungs’ power. She stomped on the floor, throwing her arms around as she half-screamed, half-begged at her dad.

Meanwhile said dad, also known as Rick Grimes, also known as Negan’s boyfriend, stood in front of her at a complete loss as to what to do. He sent Negan a panicked look, but the older man had much less of an idea as to what to do.

“Judy, darling, why don’t we calm down-”

“I want mom!” the girl interrupted, her voice almost breaking half-scream. Negan felt all the blood in his body turn to ice, leaving him rigid and feeling as if he was suffocating, because  _ was Judith crying? _ “I want mom I want mom I want mom I want mom I want mom!”

She violently moved her arms around with every ‘I want mom’, accidentally or not hitting Rick’s legs in the process. Her father looked on the verge of losing his cool and start trembling just as much as her. He kneeled down, gently took her hands and made her stand still, and cleared his throat in an attempt to buy time and recompose himself.

“Honey, you already see her half a week every week! You and Carl were with her yesterday, and you’ll see her again in a few days, right?” he tried, voice much more steady than he felt, Negan bet. Of course, his attempt failed.

“But I want her  _ here _ !” she bawled, anger gone and leaving room in her voice for just the confusion and betrayal. Negan didn’t need to see her face to know that yes, she was crying. “She, she’s mom and you’re dad and you, you, you gotta! I want her to be here, daddy, please! I want mom, I want mom!”

Rick took her in his arms, letting her bury her face in his shirt and sob. He sent a tired, defeated, devastated look at Negan, who couldn’t muster the strength to do anything but stare blankly right back. He didn’t think he’d be able to get his voice out of his mouth, anyway, or even move his lips. He could feel something similar to a small black hole in the base of his throat, sucking everything in.

Negan sent a look at Carl where he stood by the doorway, just to see his face. Maybe it was shitty of him, but he couldn’t stop himself from finding a feeble, ephemeral sense of relief in the fact that he wasn’t looking smug or approving of his sister’s behavior, as Negan had feared he might. Instead, he looked just as awkward, tense and lost as his father did.

Once Judith had calmed down enough, Rick pulled her away, just enough to look at her face. He cupped her cheeks and offered her a broken smile. Jesus, Negan could see that Rick’s eyes were starting to get shiny as well. Why the hell did he think this was a good idea? He had enough problems as it was with Carl, he should have just stayed away from Rick’s house.

“Judy, you know that your mom and I can’t be together like that anymore. I care about her, and she cares about me, but we’re not married anymore. C’mon, this isn’t something new, why is it wrong now?”

“He’s wrong” she cried, turning around to point at Negan accusingly. One thing was to know it, but seeing her angry, tear-red eyes glaring at him like Negan had killed her pet rabbit in front of her was something he couldn’t handle. Without realizing it, he took a step back. “He’s weird and I don’t like him! He’s bad, dad! I know he’s bad!”

“Judy, Judy, Judy, look at me. He’s Negan-”

“I don’t care!”

“ _ He is Negan _ and he’s not bad. He’s good and nice and funny and he makes me happy. I know this is strange for you and you can’t understand right now, but I’m asking you to try. Can you do that for me, darling, please? Can you try?”

“I’m gonna tell mom” the little girl replied, completely ignoring what her dad had said. She smiled widely, as if that was an automatic win. Rick sighed deeply, very very deeply, as if he was breathing out his last remaining strength, and shook his head slowly.

“Mom already knows, Judy. She thinks it’s good. She likes that I’m seeing Negan, she says he’s good for me. He is. And if you calm down a little he’ll be good to you too, I promise. He was very excited to come meet you, so why don’t we start over, go to him, and say hi?”

Judith stepped back, gasping and quiet in horror as if she had been told Rick had thrown away all her toys. However, when she turned around to face Negan her face was mostly calm. Negan’s heart fluttered wildly when he thought that maybe she was gonna listen to her dad and start over. Instead she ran towards him, kicked him in the shin with all the force her almost-six years old body could muster, and ran out of the room. Negan felt like he had dropped his heart on the floor and it shattered like porcelain. He reached towards her.

“Judy, wait-”

“Don’t call me Judy! I hate you! Go away!”

That was the last thing she said before disappearing down the hallway. Negan could only hold himself together for a couple seconds before he fell back, fortunately on the couch. His hands found his face and Negan hid himself in them, wishfully thinking that he could shy away from everything and he never had to face anyone ever again. He felt like he would break down if he saw anyone right now.

This hadn’t been a good idea. He could never fit in Rick’s family.

For all he was hiding away from the world, he still was forced to listen. Listen to the deadly silence, that is, and that just made the situation sink in deeper and deeper. Eventually he heard the sound of Rick’s clothes moving.

“I… Should I try to go talk to her?”

“No dad, I don’t think it’s a good idea right now. Let me try to handle her, alright?”

Negan couldn’t help a cold snort at that and took his hands off to peek at Carl as the boy walked by his side. Their eyes met and for a fraction of second neither of them could do anything but stare at each other awkwardly. Then Negan hid it under a bitter grin.

“Well kid, congratulations. Looks like your lil’ sister has officially joined the ‘dad’s boyfriend sucks’ club. You must be fucking proud of her, huh?”

He expected to rile Carl up and get some insult out of him, maybe to wail in his own misery further or to have something irritate him enough to snap him out of his devastation. It was far easier to be angry at a teen than face the utter, disgusted rejection of a little kid, after all.

He didn’t get what he wanted, though; Carl just tilted his head, looked down sheepishly, and eyed Negan with an almost reassuring look.

“She’s just a kid, she’s explosive. She’ll come around.”

Now that was a surprise. Negan was left open-mouthed as he saw Rick’s son nod at him and walk out of the room after his sister. He’d have expected the boy to be smug or at the very least indifferent; sympathy simply threw him off his game.

God, he must look really shattered by this if the teen who could barely stand him was offering him pity. Wonderful.

He went back to hiding in his hands, buried on the couch as deep as he could. He didn’t react when he felt Rick’s weight settling next to him, immediately followed by the feel of Rick’s body leaning on his side and his hand landing on Negan’s knee. Rick didn’t say anything, and so neither did Negan. All he could think about was the disaster that had just happened.

“She’ll come around, you know” Rick eventually whispered, echoing Carl’s words softly, gently, kindly. Negan hummed in a half-assed acknowledgement and kept refusing to look at Rick, not even when Rick kissed his cheek. “She will, Negan.”

“What if she doesn’t?” Negan grunted gruffly.

Rick thought about it for a few seconds. “Here’s what we’re gonna do, Negan. You’re not gonna leave because of this. You’re gonna stay, try to work this out. If by this evening she’s still sulking, then I’ll call Lori and ask her to come for Judy. Maybe that’ll let her calm down and this’ll go smoother next time.”

A deep, weary sigh escaped Negan’s lips. He rubbed his fingers into his eyes before finally gathering enough courage to glimpse at his side, where Rick’s comforting presence pressed against him. When he saw the feeble but sincere smile that the man’s lips formed, Negan couldn’t help forming a weak smile of his own and leaning in to brush their lips together, barely more than a mere caress.

“That’s not what I mean” he chuckled, smile still in his face. “What I was saying is, what if she never accepts me? I’ll have to fuck off, won’t I? Leave the three of you behind.”

Rick shook his head. “Negan, no.”

“Oh, come on Ricky, I’m not really in the mood to laugh so don’t make me” Negan huffed, rolling his eyes. “I know you love me and I don’t blame you, I’m the absolute bestest shit ever, am I not? But those are your kids. Don’t act like you wouldn’t kick me out for your little girl’s sake. I’m not stupid.”

“Then don’t act like you are” Rick retorted, shoving Negan’s head in a manner that would have been playful had the tension not been still in the room. “All I’m saying is that we won’t get to the point of making that choice. Judith’s just… This is a shock for her. Lori and I haven’t been together for some time now and she can accept that, but seeing me date someone else is something she’s still got to get used to. It’s not because it’s  _ you _ . So just give her some time and you’ll win her right over, huh?”

Rick took Negan’s hand between his and squeezed, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss on Negan’s knuckles. Negan let out a skeptical huff, but he didn’t argue further. He just let himself sink down on the couch, legs spread over the floor, and tried to clear his mind. He accommodated to Rick when the man pressed against his side and let him settle under his arm, both of them tilting their heads towards one another.

For almost ten minutes, they did nothing but bask in the other’s presence an exchange occasional, chaste kisses. 

“I was looking forward to meeting her” Negan ended up saying, barely above a whisper.

“I know” Rick answered in the same tone.

“She was gonna be a little cutiepie like in the photos you showed me. She’d be a little shy and maybe a bit scared of me at first, blushing and hiding behind your legs all freaking cute, but then I’d kneel down to be at her height, crack a smile, say something incredibly sweet and then she’d love me. Carl would see it, he’d be a sore cranky lil’ shit about it at first but then he’d see how good I got along with Judy and think ‘hey, maybe it’s not that bad that he’s doing dad’. The four of us would have a lovely day and as soon as I left Judith would start asking when we’d get married. You’d blush and get all nervous because of fucking course we aren’t even thinking of that but she’s just so affected by Disney that she doesn’t understand any other option. And well, I thought this would be a fucking romcom. I’m such an idiot.”

Negan would have kept going, ironic and frustrated, if it wasn’t because Rick took hold of his face and shut him up with a kiss. Negan immediately sighed into it and let Rick comfort him, holding him close and letting his boyfriend’s presence soothe him to calmness.

“It’s just a first meeting. She  _ will _ love you and she _ will _ ask about a wedding, only she won’t wait for you to be gone. Have some patience, that is all.”

Just for his own sake, Negan let himself believe Rick, for a little while.

One hour and two brief updates from Carl later found Rick and Negan in the Grimes’ kitchen. Negan refused to accept any help, so Rick was relegated to the duty of assuring Negan every few minutes that  _ yes, Negan, Judy loves lasagna and yes, a chocolate pie is heaven to her _ .

Negan had just reached the part in which he let the oven do the rest of the work when Carl cleared his throat by the doorway. Rick and Negan turned around simultaneously and Negan’s heart went a little faster when he saw Judith beside her brother, half-hiding behind him with a stubborn look on her little face. Carl smiled at the two of them.

“Negan, can you come over? I think Judy has something to tell you.”

Negan swallowed thickly, nodded, and after getting a reassuring look from Rick he approached the children. He went down on one knee when he was in front of them, and although Judith gave him a petulant look, a light tap on the head from her brother was enough to make her leave her hiding place.

They eyed one another for a few seconds. Negan hoped his smile didn’t betray the way his heart beated frantically inside his chest.

“Carl said you’re making my favorite food.”

“I’m trying to” Negan confirmed, tilting his head a little bit. “Lasagna and chocolate pie for dessert, isn’t that right?”

Not even a child’s pride could resist the lure of chocolate, and Judith was unable to hide the shine on her eyes. She immediately brought her hand up, solemn look on her face as if she was making some grand, meaningful gesture. To Negan, she was.

“I’m sorry. Carl says you’re nice and you make daddy smile.”

“I try to” Negan laughed, and it was like the sound carried away all the leftover anxiety from his body. He offered a few fingers for Judith to shake, and he found that the longer he looked at the kid the wider his smile became. “But it’s not hard to make him smile when he’s got this little princess at home.”

Judith visibly preened and giggled at being called princess by someone other than her parents. Negan’s heart grew a couple sizes from the sight. He looked over his shoulder when he felt Rick’s hand settling on his shoulders, and the two men smiled softly at each other.

“So,” Judith said a second after, her voice pure curiosity and excitement, all her earlier stubbornness vanished to the back of her young mind, “when are you gonna marry dad?”


End file.
